Bruno's Column:
Why Plan My Wedding Speech?

In this article I am going to offer a little advice from my years as a writer and speaker. But giving advice is often regarded as a bit overbearing.

• Oscar Wilde, a proficient and experienced advice giver, said: "I never give a woman advice. In fact one should never give her anything she can't wear in the evening."
• And now a howler from a child's exam paper: "Socrates was a great Greek teacher. He went around giving people advice. They killed him."

Despite the possible perils of following in Socrates' footsteps, I still feel inclined to throw in my ha'pennyworth.

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Why Plan?

Some people do ask themselves the question: "Why should I plan my wedding speech?" But some people don't even consider planning until it's too late. Which group would you rather be in?

You may have heard the saying, "Failing to plan is like planning to fail". A truer word has never been said.

As discussed in my article, "Prepare or Bust", you might feel able to "wing it", or you might feel that planning a speech is easy and quick. I get a staggering number of calls, a week and less before the wedding, from panic stricken speakers who have suddenly realised that they have no idea what to say or how to say it.

Planning a speech is not generally something quick and easy unless you are an expert or have access to one.

When deciding if you are going to plan in advance, consider the following issues:-

1. People do remember the speeches. Even if they don't remember the words used, they will remember if the speeches were good or bad.
2. One very potent reason for planning is that the majority of weddings these days are videoed, and who wants their failures to be immortalised on film?
   
   I am reminded of the Irish wedding where the father of the bride's wallet was stolen at the reception. The mystery was solved when the video was processed: the best man was seen nicking it. Obviously things like this won't happen to any honest and conscientious best man, but there is a lesson there to be learned: your performance may be around to haunt you or to support your self esteem for years to come. At FineSpeeches.com, we can help you to achieve the latter.
3. Get the right sort of help. You wouldn't take on a plumber to fix your TV, or a mechanic to fit a carpet. So if you need help and advice on making a public speech, it must make sense to turn to a professional public speaker. I have nearly two decades of hands-on and eye-to-eye experience with all sorts of audiences including after dinner speaking and stand up comedy, plus much experience of coaching people to speak effectively.
4. Planning the speeches should be part of planning the wedding. The average cost of a wedding in the UK is more than £10,000. People plan and budget for every aspect of the wedding: the church, the organ, the reception venue, the food, champagne and flowers. Every aspect, that is, apart from the speeches.
   
   Often completely inexperienced men (and women) are thrown in front of an audience who are hoping against hope to be interested and entertained. Very often though they are bored, unable to hear or, worst of all, acutely embarrassed, perhaps by the speaker's material or perhaps by a speaker humiliating himself by lack of preparation.

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Avoid common pitfalls

It is a fact that there are a number of pitfalls lying in wait for the wedding speaker, like snakes in the grass, each with their own collection of snakebites. Mostly they arise from the rattlesnake of lack of knowledge:

• Snakebite 1: What must I include?
• Snakebite 2: How do I say it?
• Snakebite 3: When do I say it?
• Snakebite 4: How long should I speak for?
• Snakebite 5: What else do I have to do?
• Snakebite 6: How formal / informal should I be?

Please visit us at www.finespeeches.com for free guidelines containing effective antidotes to these and other snakebites, including those inflicted by the spitting cobra of stage fright.

Of course one of the most deadly snakes is the wriggling, slithering anaconda of speech content. Among its snakebites are:

• Snakebite 7: Is it interesting?
• Snakebite 8: Is it snappy?
• Snakebite 9: Is it light, without being too frivolous?
• Snakebite 10: Is it clean?
• Snakebite 11: Is it appropriate?

To avoid a severe case of venom, you could do a lot worse than make use of one of our packages of off the shelf speeches plus jokes, quotes and toasts.

It is a good idea for you to have a concerted dredge through your experiences of the happy couple, their friends and families, for appropriate material and to edit these in to your other material. But if time is really not available, all is not lost. A FineSpeeches.com package will provide five example speeches for you, any of which can be used as-is (except for insertion of the appropriate names).

Whichever route you take to prepare and practise for your wedding speech experience, I wish you huge success and enjoyment on the day.